12 May 2010

39/40

It takes me a really long time to think and muhasabah, why did Allah give me 39 out of 40 in Pathology during the last mid year exam. A subject that is feared by most of the student, a subject that consume most of the marks in third year academic course. After all rewind of what had happened after the mid year exam, and now I think I found the answer. The hikmah that Allah wants me to learn.

I realized that most of my friends, are easier to get in touch with. I easily can joke around with them, and they frequently say hi to me even I didn't start it.
It's easier to befriend with serious people like XXX , to befriend with YY which always being together among them all the time.
It's easier to get closer with XX, which I never spend such a long time with her before, she keep asking and find for my advice to study or any of my thought about other subject, even I didn't even score well in other subject.
One subject really blurred the other marks.

I realized that my words are taken into consideration by them, something in which I lacked confidence on it. To be heard and to be obey. People keep asking me and ask for my advice like XX, and I gain respect and confidence to do more in D, to tell more to people about Islam.
To be heard, to be obey, to be taken into consideration, it's all about self-confidence.
(You know how much I hate public speaking, ain't it)

I realized that the exam was not under the cleverness of my brain as others thought, my answers are not as definite as the text books, I write what I know and I didn't make stories to get marks, and I realized that all 'Ilham' that I get are not from me, all of them are from Allah.
I realized my brain can't afford such things, informations are too lots to be remembered. Human beings are really weak.

I feel the satisfaction of studying hard and getting full marks was like what, and it encourages me to do better and better instead of boasting around with what I said before. I know the marks is a gift, a test, not a dream to be enjoy around for the whole night.

I realized and more believed that, every person has his own niche, his own potential to be shone. Hadith Logam are superb!

I realized so many things, and I know I have to do so much things, and I learn how to understand the world not via the module that were given to us, understand the reality with your own prospect, flexible, and not rigid. Say what you feel, do what you want to, force when needed,believe in everything you do, muhasabah in every  steps you made, the dunia is not only what we see. It is far beyond than what we see. Feel the God-slave relationship, it's complex but it is beautiful. Think of Him in every single things. when you click the youtube, think of Him, when you update your blogs, think of Him. When you study, think of Him.

Dunia is not as simple as doing right for fun and doing wrong for fun. the unseen side of the world, which we should believe, the sins and rewards that are noted by the Angels. the Heaven and the Hell. the Devils and their slaves,from among themselves and from human beings also.

what we see is exist. but what we didn't see doesn't mean it doesn't exist.
what we didn't see is the one we should 'watch out' and beware of, more than what we see.

It really took me a long time to think.
I realized that thinking is a long process, and continuous.
Thus, don't stop yourselves from keep thinking and thinking, for the rest of your life.
Our 'akal' does really differentiate us from the himar and horses outside there.

-edited from original copy-
=D

4 comments:

Uncle Syariff said...

Salam

My dear daughter

Finally I saw my little sweet young daughter had grown up and be more confident in reaching out to your friends. 39/40 may not be perfect, but it's enough to make you feel wanted, appreciated and more importantly urge you to strike for better achievement in the future. Dont be too complacent, keep on working hard and do better in the coming exams as learning is a never ending process.

My dear daughter, remember, always be humble and be nice to everyone. I still remember the nice poet hanged at our home in Sabak Bernam - Don't walk in front of me, I may not follow. Don't walk behind me, I may not lead. Just walk beside me, and be my sincere friend.

Okay dear, all the best to you and your friends.

From Rawang with loves. Ayah Syariff & Mama Rahimah.

yanna_ngee~ said...

yanna like this post n the comment above!!=p

[amiza malik] said...

dah kantoi dah blog ni.

haha uncle syariff, happy reading. welcome to ur daughter's corner.nice, eh?

dun worry, she's been so nice n humble to her friends, n we are taking care of her here.

amaninast said...

uncle syariff will comment when needed nampaknye. haha~~

ayah, ni la kenanga. xD

yanna: rindu yanna!!